Logic-Right Wing Style

I love the right-wings logic. It is so fantastically amazing, that I think we need to come up with a new, more specific word for just how thorough their logistical process is. We are are going to call this new term "WTPDAFP". That is short for "We Take Psychotropic Drugs And Formulate Policies". Now, I have nothing against psychotropic drugs, I do however have a problem with people taking said drugs WHILE they are deciding on their policies and ideology. Really, it's truly the only thing I can come up with that would explain this .

Basically, this is a new commercial from Big Oil (Exxon etc) that talks about how Al Gore's new anti-global warming movie (An Inconvenient Truth) is ACTUALLY a smear campaign against......Carbon Dioxide. That's right kids, the enviroment friendly democrats actually have the nerve to launch a smear campaign against a gas. I am sure Mr. CO2 is offended.

Clearly, there are a number of things wrong with launching a smear campaign against CO2. The first would be that they are calling it a smear campaign. Does anyone else think that perhaps, you can't smear a freaking GAS?

The second thing that is gravely wrong is what they actually say in the ad. One of the psychotropically induced truisms is that CO2 is "essential to life"because (this is classic) "we breathe it out". That's right. Next, sewage companies are going to start telling us we need to eat our own shit. Of course, I realize that plants use CO2, however, not at the rate we produce it and ESPECIALLY not when we are decimating the largest intake of CO2-the rainforest. Any moron knows this (yes, I realize that is extremely opptimistic given our current situation).

The ad goes on to state how the companies and industries that produce C02 have freed us from back-breaking labor . At the end, it talks about how "some politicians" (ahem...Al Gore) are trying to get it labeled as a pollutant and "what would our lives be like then". It ends with "Carbon Dioxide, some call it a pollutant...we call it life".

Given this precedent, we should perhaps expect the following ad compaigns from the right wing-nuts during their psychotropic induced brainstorming sessions:

-George Bush Is Smart

-Some call it war-we call it peace.

-Abortion makes your uterus fall out

-Drink petroleum-it's good for your heart


God I love hallucinogens, they are clearly the answer to the worlds problems. Who knew that all this brainstorming didn't take place in DC, but in Amsterdam!

Best Site Ever

Check out this site .Then, tell everyone you know about it. And then, put articles into it and see exactly how biased things are.

The CDC tells me I am just a uterus......

So a Washington Post article today talks about how the CDC thinks that all women who are of childbearing age (between first mentrual cycle and menopause) are "pre-pregnant" and should treat themselves as such. We should take folic acid, not smoke, keep drinking to a minimum etc etc.

This, in a word, is ridiculous. So ridiculous, that I am truly having a hard time even thinking up something to say.

Now, I do realize that there is a cultural undercurrent that basically views women as walking wombs. However, I have never heard it quite so blatantly stated by an agency such as the CDC. Of course, they don't talk about a woman being healthy for the sake of being healthy. No it's all about the fetus you may, or may not have one day. Not only that, but you should start this fetus-anticipation regiment whenever your period begins, which, for many people is around age 10. Because, you COULD become pregnant at age 10, so you have to be in optimum health, not for your own sake, but for the kid growing inside you.

This is what one doctor says

"We know that women -- unless you're actively planning [a pregnancy], . . . she doesn't want to talk about it," Biermann said. So clinicians must find a "way to do this and not scare women," by promoting preconception care as part of standard women's health care, she said.

I don't really understand this at all. Their definition of good "preconception" is taking viatmins and keeping smoking and drinking to a minimum. THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! I really needed the CDC to tell me that. Good health should be about good health. In no way should it be tied to procreation AT ALL.

Also, where are the admonition for the men to stay healthy so their SPERM is healthy? Last time I checked, they were crucial to the procreating process as well.

It should also be noted that women who don't plan on having a child aren't even mentioned. This should come as no surprise because women who don't want children are barely women. I mean WHAT kind of "woman" wouldn't want to produce AT LEAST 4 children? It's her patriotic duty!

Of course, none of this surprises me in the least given our current administration. Time and time again they have proven that they don't care about women or women's health for the sake of the woman. We are merely breeding machines to carry on their legacy. I am shocked they even give us that much.

Our Government Sucks

Once in awhile, something comes along that is so horrifying, so disgusting, and so unnerving, that I cant even really be funny about it. Nor, would I want to disrespect those who have to live through it by even trying. This is one of those times. I will just give you an example of what kind of thing I am referring to. I'll provide a picture from the website DailyKos.com just in case you are too lazy to click.


This is the 9th Ward 8 months after Katrina. I am pretty sure that the third world impoverished countries that had to deal with the Tsunami looked better than this 8 months after that tragedy.

I would truly, truly love to have some brainless republican explain to me how exactly something like this is ok. I would love to hear the logic that they would use to justify the tax cuts for the wealthy, the wire tapping of law abiding Americans, the destruction of a country, and the hundreds of thousands that are dead-American and otherwise.

Because the ENTIRE time this administration has been busy fucking up the rest of the world and taking away our civil liberties since Katrina (8 MONTHS), they have also been busy ignoring the New Orleans. Busy ignoring AMERICANS, the very people whose "safety" they have used to justify the "War on Terror".

So, everyone who thinks that we can clean up Iraq and get a working, democratic government in place, please, take a look at these pics and realize that we can't even clean up after a fucking NATURAL DISASTER in our own damn country.

Just when you thought Catholicism couldn't possibly discredit itself more...

...ABC news puts out a story on how a Catholic school teacher is fired for having twins out of in-vitro fertilization.

You would think that perhaps, after all those child molestation issues the Catholic Church has been having (and hiding as the case may be) that has Catholics fleeing in droves, they might want to keep a low profile. You know, maybe NOT be quite so judgemental when it comes to things involving children and procreation. But no, they simply cannot help themselves, and consequently have vapid spokemen say things like;

"It's not so much that it's artificial that's the problem, instead it's removing the sexual act and procreative act from the context of marriage".

I would absolutely LOVE to hear what his views on adoption are. Because last time I checked, that didn't involve sex for "procreation" either. The church cannot make up it's mind. "Children are precious, oh wait, only if you have sex to get them, which is also something dirty and forbidden and evil, but you have to if you want to have kids and not be excommunicated or fired."

This also comes at a time when Catholic attendance at mass is at an all-time low, many Catholic schools are struggling to fill their rosters, and the collection baskets just aren't as heavy as they used to be. Perhaps they wouldnt be having such a problem if they weren't such raging ASSHOLES. As they say, beggars cant be choosers, and at the rate the church is paying settlements to molestation victims, that saying might be quite literal pretty soon. One can only hope anyway.

Purity Balls: What?

Purity Balls , regardless of how the name sounds, is not the satirical term for some new kinky sex toy. No, in fact, it is the name of yet another crazy thing that fundamentalist christians practice.

Essentially, these creepy, over-involved fathers take their young daughters, all dressed up in their Walmart finest, to a ball where the daughters pledge their virginity and "purity" to their father until the day they get married.

Here is the pledge the daughter makes:

"I pledge to remain sexually pure...until the day I give myself as a wedding gift to my husband. ... I know that God requires this of me... that he loves me, and that he will reward me for my faithfulness."

Here is the pledge their loving "daddies" make:

[I] choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity....I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home.

This can all be summed up in one word. Ew. Wedding GIFT? HIGH PRIEST of their homes? I am sorry, I must have COMPLETELY missed the fact that apparently, I live Victorian England. Or Afghanistan circa, well, 2006.

To really drive my point home that this entire thing is totally disturbing, I give you this next quote. If doesn't at the very least vaguely gross you out, then get thee to Kansas or some other useless, bible thumping state:

"How can you measure the value of your eleven year old looking up into your eyes (as you clumsily learn the fox-trot together) with innocent, uncontainable joy, saying, 'Daddy, I'm so excited!' wrote Wesley Tullis in a letter describing his grateful participation. 'I have been involved with the Father-Daughter Ball for two years with my daughters, Sarah and Anna. It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity. Think of it from their perspective: My daddy thinks I'm beautiful in my own unique way. My daddy is treating me with respect and honor. My daddy has taken time to be silly, and even made a fool of himself, learning how to dance. My daddy really loves me!"

To be honest, the overuse of the word "daddy" is what really gives me the skeeves.

The whole idea of it just pisses me off. Next thing you know, they are going to be having a "Chastity Belt Ball" just to make SURE "daddy" can keep his precious little daughter's purity under lock and key until some douchebag comes along that he can transfer his property, ahem, I mean daughter, to. Cause, you know, an impure daughter just isn't worth as much one that hasn't been tainted by an evil penis that her vagina didn't get sold to in marriage.

There are many aspects of our society that show just how little progress we have made in the way of women's sexuality and mens inherent fear of it. This is merely one (albeit one of the more disturbing ones) example. Instead of teaching their daughters about healthy ways to express their sexuality, they are basically telling them that it's not their decision to make, and only a "special man" like their father or husband, can have control over it.

It doesnt matter that over HALF of girls who take "purity" or virginity pledges recant them within a year. As Mark Morford of SFGate.com explains

"No wonder over half of all teens who take any sort of virginity pledge end up breaking the ridiculous vow within a year (says a new Harvard study), and fully 88 percent end up having sex before marriage anyway. What's more, such silly pledges only result in more oral and anal sex among teens who try, vainly, to adhere. They also marry younger, have fewer sexual partners (read: less skill) and yet have exactly the same rate of STDs as kids who are smart enough to avoid such pointless pledges in the first place."

Yeah, exactly. Do these idiots need any more proof that their ignorance filled policies simply do not work? Like I said in an earlier post, facts, figures, and you know, a little thing called reality don't seem to stop this assault on rational thought.

What I want to know is, why aren't they pledging their virginity to their mothers? Additionally, why don't the sons pledge their virginity to their mothers. Hmmmmmm.
The answer to think is pretty simple and most likely obvious to anyone who has given even the tiniest bit of thought to gender relations in this world.

Women can NEVER, EVER have control over their own sexuality, much less a man's. The father transfers his control of his daughter's sexuality over to her husband while the double standard states that their son's sexuality doesnt really matter because he's a male who ostensibly controls his own. Also, men can do whatever they want when it comes to their own sexuality with no social assumptions or repercussions at all. Duh!

Of course, I could get in to a whole slew of issues regarding all the socio-economic, racial, and nationalistic boundaries when it comes to men's obsession with female sexual purity, but that's what I did my undergraduate thesis on, and I dont feel like writing 110 pages worth of shit here.

This guy says it better and covers more points then I can right now at 12am.

What this all really amounts to is why we call these parts of the country "fly-over states". Thanks, but when I get on a plane I really prefer not to land in hell.

Americans are Total Morons

Here is proof regarding what stated in yesterday's post about how it's commendable that Bush and Co. have managed to brainwash the entire country. Maybe I am just being optimistic about the fact that we are being brainwashed, because the idea that I actually live in a country where 51% of the people MORONIC enough to think our civil liberties being violated is a good idea is really too much for me to take.

These are the times when I really, really wish the southern portion of the United States would break off and go hurtling towards Antartica.

Where are we, China?

This is one of those stories that, in a world before Bush and Co. may have caused what I like to call COMPLETE outrage on the part of United States citizens. You know, when the U.S. could actually be called a democracy.

Now, I don't know if people are so brainwashed that something like this doesn't even register on their pissed-off-o-meter, or if we are just so used to having our civil liberties trampled on that we have completely given up when a news story like this breaks. Either way, it's not cool.

Basically, to sum up what we have just found out, is that Bush and his evil minions have been tracking almost all calls between anyone and everyone in the United States with his excuse being...( yup you guessed it) "The War On Terror". In what is perhaps futile and pathetic optimism on my part, I am not going to explain as to why this presents a problem or why it's a violation of our civil liberties, or why America should be storming the White House right now to take it back from the INSANITY that has enveloped it. You should just know. There should be no explanation involved.

I do however, have to commend the Bush Administration on how thoroughly and completely they have managed to brainwash this country. Since facts and figures can't seem to convince those of you who are confident in the compentency of our lovely president that hes a total moron, here is proof that at least he LOOKS smart, which must be how he has fooled the entire country.





Oh wait...........


Remember when we used to impeach presidents for things like, oral sex and extramarital affairs? Those days are gone. Now, any C-average, coke snorting, drunk driving, dim-witted idiot can become president and stay that way.

In fact, that same idiot can go ahead and break all sorts of laws, domestic and international, lie about starting a war, oversee the TWO largest domestic failures in the history of the US, be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and stay president.

Howard Dean is an Ass

I am pretty sure this story speaks for itself. Initially, Howard Dean seemed like the John McCain of the Democratic party. At first, his antics and ability to position himself as an innovative individualist were charming and perhaps even a bit refreshing. Sure, when he started screaming like a banshee before the 2004 elections he seemed like he was a bit of a wackadoo. But a wackadoo can be a good thing sometimes, especially in the face of staid, boring and run-of-the-mill politicians.

Then, when he starts doing stuff like this, he just seems like an oppotunistic publicity whore. Or, just a total moron. Hes the CHAIR of the democratic party, and he goes on the 700 Club and says that the PLATFORM of the democratic party is that only men and women should get married.

There are MANY, MANY reasons as to why this is not good. I dont really think I have to enumerate why saying something along these lines is wrong. However, it makes me feel better so I am going to anyway.

First of all, hes the Chair of the DNC. He is supposed to be the representative of the entire democratic party and all that it stands for. The Democratic Party stance is NOT that marriage is between a man and a woman. So, this makes Dean a liar. Great, just when we need to really come together and get rid of the psychotic administration that is running our country, the chair of the DNC lies about the platform of the party.

Second of all, Pat Robertson is a yahoo and anyone who agrees with him in any way shape or form is also a yahoo. WHY would you ever want to agree with a yahoo on NATIONAL TV? This is the guy who said that god smote Ariel Sharon by giving him a stroke bc he took Jewish settlers out of Palestine. Incidentally, it's not the first time Robertson has said something completely loony.

Exhibits A-Z:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnyquotes/a/patrobertson.htm

My real favorite is:
"(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

I dont think I really need to explain why this makes him completely batshit. Or, just totally uninformed. I can't decide. I am leaning towards batshit.

Howard Dean went ahead and agreed with VERY group of people that is driving this country to the brink of insanity. This, ladies and gentlemen, is reason enough to yank him from his position ASAP.

The third reason why Howard Dean is an ass is because we are at a crucial time in our country where it is IMPERATIVE that liberals band together and form a cohesive unit. Half the reason people in this god-forsaken country have a problem with the democrats is because we are seen as an indecisive, incoherent non-unit with no set form of ideology. I do agree with this on many levels, even though I disagree with the idea that the only way for a political party to be sucessful is by having a group of people agree on every single issues (or at least appear to).

What makes fundamentalist christians (who make up a HUGE base for the republican party-in case you have been stuck on Jupiter for the past 6 years) so successful is the fact that they pretty much agree on policies and general ideology, no matter how disjointed from reality said ideology may be. They have managed completely ignore all scientific fact and get creationism reinstated in some public schools. They have convinced the FDA that the morning after pill is dangerous to a woman's health with decidely unscientific rhetoric stating that its really a form of abortion so it shouldn't be sold over-the-counter. All this because no matter how ludicrous what they say and believe may be-they all believe it, and somehow manage to convince everyone else that its true as well.

So now, Howard Dean has gone and alienated a huge part of the democratic base, to the point where they are giving back a donation from the DNC. Hopefully, this isn't a serious splintering of the democratic party because frankly, we can't take much more.

This is all aside from the fact that the REASON Democrats don't hold the same position as Republicans when it comes to gay marriage (or a myriad of other issues) is because IT'S HOMOPHOBIC AND WRONG.

It seems pretty obvious to me that Howard Dean is an ass, and hopefully, someone, somwhere, will make sure he is relieved of his post that is SUPPOSED make him the figurehead for Democrats. Because as a Democrat, I most certainly do not want to be associated with such a pandering, wimpy wackadoo.